...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
