Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
