shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
