It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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