you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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