and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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