This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
well you can't waste a boner
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
