I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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