You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Terrible idea I love it
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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