He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Randomize
