i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Randomize
