How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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