i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
