i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
