i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
