it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize