My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
