I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
