The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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