Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize