i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
