He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I just forgot I was standing up.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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