who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
