Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize
