everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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