I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize