that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize