And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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