I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize