so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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