How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
