i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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