so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize