I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
