I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Randomize
