Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
