do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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