Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I can't turn off my feet"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I have feelings that need drinking.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
