the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
