I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
