He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
it hurts more in the daytime
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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