OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
