a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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