Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Damn victory sex feels great
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
