So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
should my penis look like a turkey
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize