i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
