im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
