even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
