I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
