i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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