i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
