sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just googled if crying burns calories
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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