I'm drive I can fine osifer
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
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