The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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