I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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