Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Enjoy the penises
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
