maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We talked him into tasing himself.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
