I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm at about main and main street
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
