you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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