guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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