I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
