I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
