the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize