ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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